bye bye cameroon

BYE BYE TEAM CAMEROON

If there’s an African team that didn’t deserve to play in this World Cup, that would be Cameroon. Literally, no wait…seriously, they didn’t even qualify, well they did on a technicality. Then when they got the golden opportunity they decided to start with some drama, men with drama not so cool, they went on a strike and refused to go to Brazil if their allowances and bonuses were not paid, I wish they had just let the opportunity pass, declined to show up in Brazil. Not that its Samuel Eto’o’s work to pay player allowances or Alexander Song’s, but they are among the world’s best paid players, their leadership of this team could have been crucial. Once they landed in Brazil everything went from bad to worse, here why: -

·         They played more as individuals and not as once as a TEAM. I saw Alexander Song and Neymar showing more team spirit than our African boys during the game. (Well in another league, in another place, they are.)  Cameroon was a team of unequals and you bet they proved it more than once. Their egos were way bigger than their team spirit and game, and their side shows kept us entertained but for the one billion African fans they were hugely a big disappointment.

·         Their game was too physical, I found it wise to say a silent prayer every time the ‘boys’ took to the field. ‘Dear Lord, help this team to be slow to anger…no red cards, just the yellow please…thank you.’ I mean did you see poor Neymar pushed from the back, while he was already off the pitch, that meaningless physical assault came out of nowhere. They were also physical towards each other, I get it whenever a team loses at such events the tendency is to blame another team member, but do it in the dressing room, but the golden rule should be ‘headbutting your teammate is not cool.’

Now that Cameroon are out of the world cup, I would hope before the next tournament not hear about strikes, I also hope they deal with their issues at anger management classes because in all their games they truly deserved to loose, and most importantly, I hope they learn to play as a team, not as big names that play for top clubs in Europe and poorly paid home grown players.

Oh well! Adios! And please return the bonuses, as a sign of good will.

Guys the whole world is watching stop it

WHEN HIS WIFE CALLS

No one gives you the heads up when the ‘other woman’ in his life aka his wife calls you. Earlier this year I thought I had met that guy that you don’t mind settling down with. Everything was amazing, I was on cloud nine, I was walking on sunshine, I was in love and we all know in life that one thousand men will come but one will always stand out. I was over the moon until his wife called me one Saturday morning and boy didn’t the floodgates of my eyes open, it felt like one of those Nairobi days when it starts out bright and beautiful but the downpour that pounds a couple of hours later leaves you cold and wet. So did I know he was married? Of course not, as a matter of fact I never saw it coming, it hit me like a brick on my face, or like something cold was thrown on my face, it bolted me to reality faster than I could say ‘what!’ Never in my life did I think that people could be so cold, manipulative and cunning.

It all started in December, it was not even love at first sight, but when we went out on that first date, I was smitten. My first date check list is simple, if I order a drink and the guy insists that I order something to eat as well, for me that guy is a keeper.  He got everything right on date number one, the restaurant, the ambience, the words, and the super cute smile, he was nice, he was considerate, he made me feel at ease. It was a wonderful date number one, then there was date number two, he had everything planned out, he got it right as well, a nice romantic lunch and then a walk, and he was really considerate, I was smitten, but then I stumbled across a photo of a really young child in his wallet as he was showing me something. He had a baby, how old? ‘She was born when he was in high school, my calculations showed that the child was like ten years or older. That should have been the first red light; the girl in the photo looked younger than five, but it wasn’t I know one two many people who got babies in High School.

He would call like two times in day, we would text a lot, on date number two he told me where he stayed and asked if I wanted to go and meet his mother, I knew his friends and I also talked to his cousin and we would walk holding hands near where he stayed, so when his wife called I was shocked. Even before she called I was beginning to have my doubts not about him being married but about the child, because later on he lowered her age to seven and I asked him about that and he had the perfect excuse. Anyway his wife called me that Saturday morning, my heart was racing as she said those words ‘Nani is my husband and we have a three year old daughter.’ I was sad, I was angry, I wondered why anyone would want to play with my emotions like that I cried a lot and I thought that there would be no punishment good enough for such a person. I apologized to his wife over and over again; I have never felt so ashamed in my life. I knew something was wrong because he did not want us to become friends on Facebook, he often called when he  was outside his house but he worked late and called me as soon as he came out of work, so that by the time he got home at 11pm I could actually get some shut eye, but even on his one off day he still called me when he was either in a matatu or walking towards his house, or outside coz his cousin who he claimed he lived with was watching TV. I thought all the clues were there but when I asked, he said I was being difficult, and I thought, I was being difficult, only to realize I was being manipulated.  I asked myself, he really seemed like a genuinely good guy, why did he lie to me.

The good news is that I got over him, and I know that’s true because I can smile and laugh as a write this. It also taught me a lot about my character, I learnt at times in life you will meet people that you really like but you will have to walk away because the relationship is wrong and at that time it will take every single ounce of strength that you have to walk away from such a relationship.   I am so proud of myself for that.

I also learnt that at times you don’t need explanations to move on. People talk to meeting on last time so that the person who hurt you can explain why he did so but in life the people that hurt you the most will offer no explanations but you have to move on because there are sheep in wolves clothing. I don’t need any explanations, I moved on.

He changed nothing about my perception of men, I know in life there are good men and bad men just as there are good women and bad women. There are all types of people in this world. And yes there are some pretty decent guys out there, I happen to know some b.t.w. I have had men that have helped and expected nothing in return, I have some pretty cool guy friends that I love and care about.

It’s okay to be angry and sad but only for a little while. Months later I had already moved on. I emerged the winner in the very end. While getting over him seem difficult in the beginning, I actually got over him, am not hurt or wounded.

World Cup Awards

WORLD CUP 2014 GROUP STAGES ROUND ONE AWARDS

The most anticipated sports events the ‘World Cup’ is here and it’s been nothing but spectacular, mostly and all the teams have played at least a game each, so because of being so entertaining and presenting their countries so well, awards must be given, so here goes: -

·         Netherlands (Most interesting team so far), thanks to the Flying Dutchman for reminding us just how beautiful this game is supposed to be.

·         Joachim Loew, German Team Coach (Hottest coach of the tournament, the guy is yummy, I doubt this will change any time soon) If you don’t agree there’s something wrong with you!

·         Neymar, The Brazilian Forward/Winger

 (For being the hottest player of the tournament, move over Cristiano Ronaldo, there nothing hotter like a man who can swing his hips and is easy on the eyes.)

·         Cameroon (Most disappointing African team), come on Samuel Etoo and co. I wish they would have carried the same passion they had when demanding for better ‘wages’ from their government. Hope it will not be a case of ‘we came, we saw and we’re conquered.’

·         Ivory Coast fans (For supporting your team the best way you know how, shaking your tushi’s like they knew they hot, which they were.)

·         Japanese fans (Picking up after yourselves, is there a book Kenyan parents can buy, because some really need some tips, case point have you ever met some of those rude parents with equally rude kids in public transport who will not give you their unpaid seat until the tout tells them to!)

·         Team Brazil  (is my team for the ‘diva’ award, they went down so quickly, and stayed there, someone cc this to Catherine Alouch, you got some competition girlfriend.

·         Nigeria verses Iran (boring team award) who said a draw has to be boring, I dozed off a couple of times. I mean the Nigeria we know would have entertained us to the final minute even if it meant losing!

·         England (for the most obvious team of the tournament so far, overrated, underperforming, and mostly disappointing! That was so obvious, despite changing tactics, hiring Steven Hawking a Theoretical Physicist you still managed to disappoint as usual! Yet we always expect more from this team.

·         Brazil: (Patriotism Award, both team and fans, singing the national anthem from their hearts, . Maybe one day we will all be proudly Kenyan, coz right now we are not, we are proudly tribal, if our team did make it, we would be worried about what tribe was not represented and which one was over represented.

·         Didier Drogba: (He still got it Award). For proving that he still got what it takes to take his country forward and make Africa proud.

·         All African fans: (Forever Hopeful Award) for always hoping that ‘this world cup will be our world cup!’ One day it will be an African World Cup!’

More awards will follow soon. Keep watching the world cup!